Post by Rundberg on Dec 13, 2023 1:43:34 GMT 1
As the title suggests, I'm going on a bit of a rant here. Sorry about it in advance.
First of all I want to apologize everyone for my behavior before I left the game, it all happened kind of suddenly. I tried too hard to find some footing somewhere I was not meant to. Acted like an ass and said some stupid shit I shouldn't have. I truly wished I could just sit down and enjoy the game, letting the world (and my mind) figure itself out. Then I heard some people I used to know had died, then a few more, it all started to take its toll. Once I heard a close friend of mine had fallen and his sister had taken her own life a short while after that, I completely lost it. I started medicating myself with alcohol and tried to drown my sorrows in the bottle when I had the chance.
Well it didn't work out, I became an even more bitter and frustrated drunkard trying to excuse my bad choices while drowning my thoughts in alcohol, to the point I was ready to end it all. Not by suicide, but by volunteering to join a war that has been bugging me since 2022 (I know, too late). I've felt an unbearable amount of guilt after the major offensive started, not only because I've voted for a Russia friendly politician in the past, but I've always seen them as somewhat of a worthy "ally" to have. In an economic sense that is. Boy, have my views shifted.
Anyway back to recent days
After drowning myself in anger, frustration and even self-hatred, I was blessed. I got an opportunity to do some Ukraine related charity work in Poland and Romania through an old friend of mine. Had less than a day to think about it, hence the quick leave. I simply had to take the opportunity. So far so good. Hopefully feeling at least somewhat useful helps my mind to get back on track. Also, Poland fucking rocks. Love the people here. No doubt Romania will be at least as awesome.
To end this damned post, I want to thank all of IRON for the times shared. Didn't last for long, but I'll cherish every memory I had with you guys. From all the short-lived awkward chatter to deep conversations, appreciate it all. You guys kept me going through some of the hardest times.
Wish you all the best,
Rundberg
First of all I want to apologize everyone for my behavior before I left the game, it all happened kind of suddenly. I tried too hard to find some footing somewhere I was not meant to. Acted like an ass and said some stupid shit I shouldn't have. I truly wished I could just sit down and enjoy the game, letting the world (and my mind) figure itself out. Then I heard some people I used to know had died, then a few more, it all started to take its toll. Once I heard a close friend of mine had fallen and his sister had taken her own life a short while after that, I completely lost it. I started medicating myself with alcohol and tried to drown my sorrows in the bottle when I had the chance.
Well it didn't work out, I became an even more bitter and frustrated drunkard trying to excuse my bad choices while drowning my thoughts in alcohol, to the point I was ready to end it all. Not by suicide, but by volunteering to join a war that has been bugging me since 2022 (I know, too late). I've felt an unbearable amount of guilt after the major offensive started, not only because I've voted for a Russia friendly politician in the past, but I've always seen them as somewhat of a worthy "ally" to have. In an economic sense that is. Boy, have my views shifted.
Anyway back to recent days
After drowning myself in anger, frustration and even self-hatred, I was blessed. I got an opportunity to do some Ukraine related charity work in Poland and Romania through an old friend of mine. Had less than a day to think about it, hence the quick leave. I simply had to take the opportunity. So far so good. Hopefully feeling at least somewhat useful helps my mind to get back on track. Also, Poland fucking rocks. Love the people here. No doubt Romania will be at least as awesome.
To end this damned post, I want to thank all of IRON for the times shared. Didn't last for long, but I'll cherish every memory I had with you guys. From all the short-lived awkward chatter to deep conversations, appreciate it all. You guys kept me going through some of the hardest times.
Wish you all the best,
Rundberg
